Black and Blue

[from BLACK, a poetry collection]

Black and Blue 

“you just need cooler friends” she assured me that

my unhappiness was a matter of particular environmental

upgrades at Lake Merritt when we decided

to do Russian Coke from LA and drink

tequila and champagne mixed together and go

to the nightclub on a Tuesday afternoon and I just

wonder if this is the new me?


I got a little carried away and

a homeless person spit on me and took a swing at

this hot guy I was following like a puppy dog and

so he left me at a bar but I didn’t really mind because

I had strangers there who wanted to listen to me



We shop for black clothes, “slutty black clothes” she says

but all I want is a kimono to smoke cigarettes in as

the sun comes up and the bad thoughts start to creep back into my



We tell boys of any caliber to buy us drinks and then

we disappear and giggle and flip

our hair and ash

our cigarettes wherever the hell

we want and I just

wonder why every guy we meet is a DJ?


We send photos of ourselves that no one should ever

see and drown our regrets in more tequila and champagne

“We’re on the cusp of everywhere we go” she says but it feels

like we are going to a goth prom for people with

severe Mommy and Daddy issues so I guess

I fit right in


We laugh about our bodies covered in bruises


from all the fun we are having and

all the times we forgot to

love ourselves


2 thoughts on “Black and Blue

  1. oooooooooh I like this girl. sounds like an LA version of my life in London.I have also written a piece about my using, in early sobriety and not as good totes obvi but I can send it to you if I can find it. Coming up 3 yrs clean & sober in September and am going travelling down the west coast in August, surfing and hitting up meetings all the way. You seem like a super cool chick, I would love to meet you! any meeting ideas ? x Josie


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